Have you ever gotten a dramatically different haircut and then gone home and cried? Have you ever painted a room in your house and then hated it afterwards? As much as we might anticipate, crave, or facilitate change, it seems that it is within our nature to mourn what we’ve left behind, changed, or replaced even when the change is really a good thing. But after a few days with your new haircut, you might find that you really like the change. And that room that you painted, it really is very nice, isn’t it? But haircuts and paint colors are small potatoes compared to moving Mom into assisted living. You’ve run the course, seen the homes, signed the papers, moved her things, decorated her room, but guess what? She HATES it there.
Have you made the wrong decision? Will she ever adjust? You know that she is getting the care she needs. You know her medications are being managed, she’s eating better, and there is someone there to help her with her care when she needs it. But, what’s going through her mind? She’s left behind her home, the life she’s built, her routine, only to be stuck in a care home.
Even if she was initially accepting of the idea of moving into assisted living, she is having a really tough time adjusting to the facility. The solution? In most cases, time. If it takes a few days to adjust to a haircut, it will take a few weeks for Mom to get used to her new home.
So I just sit and wait? No, be involved with the home and the community. Work with them to make her as comfortable as possible. Visit often. Let the home know which activities she prefers. Make sure she knows that she hasn’t been abandoned.
In a nutshell, transitioning to assisted living can be tough. But give it time, and be involved. Sometimes, however, it simply is not the right fit. In that case, remember that you have the ability to choose something different, and we can help!